Thanks for finally getting back to me about this. Below are some notes on the introduction and on our editorial guidelines and expectations in general…

For obvious reasons the editorial staff of Private Circulation must, in all cases, refrain from using the phrase “this issue of Private Circulation features” to announce every new issue of the bulletin. We should also not use sentences like “this collection of photographs constitutes an archive that explores and documents the faded posters of areas local to Brooklyn and Manhattan.” A better way to start would be to write something like “Except for black, cyan is the last color of an offset print to fade from the effects of sunlight. Et cetera, et cetera.”

Moving on from there the introduction should attract the reader’s attention to the highlights of the piece. We really want something that will draw people in and leave the advertisers comfortable. Also make sure to mention a couple of helpful products and services along the way. We are, after all, in the “content” business; we cannot simply email this with “Lorem ipsum dolor,” pepper it with ads and luscious photographs, and stamp it done. People today demand monthly bulletins with added values that can lead them away from the boredom of their plebeian lives. Something uplifting! Basically, no more of this stuff like “Monet went blind” and “April is the cruelest month.” And phrases such as “Everything will be taken away” do nothing but depress the already-weary reader.

I guess I’m trying to say that this introduction needs less vinegar and more sugar and spice. I hope this is helpful.

Best,
Ed.

http://privatecirculation.com